1 00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:02,436 . 2 00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,438 - Okay, I need two volunteers. 3 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,440 - Oh, right here, I'm first! Pick me! 4 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:10,111 - Okay, thank you, Mateo. Who else? 5 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,212 Anyone? 6 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,214 - [yawns] 7 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,315 - Garrett! 8 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,084 - Yeah, I just wanted to say no. 9 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,385 - You're all ingrates. 10 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,120 I hope someone sets you all on fire, 11 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,521 and you need a volunteer to put it out. 12 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,123 - It's too much for 6:00 a.m., Dina. 13 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,191 - I don't think it's enough. 14 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,792 - Okay, fine. I'll do it. 15 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,328 - Okay, thank you, Jonah. 16 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,130 You and Mateo will be in charge 17 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,232 of our in-store dog adoption today. 18 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,233 [all gasping] 19 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,634 Yes, that's right. 20 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,137 That volunteer job was desirable. 21 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,139 That was a lesson. 22 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:41,542 "And lo, the Samaritan, as he traveled, came to where--" 23 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,810 - 6:00 a.m., Glenn. 24 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,078 - Okay, right. 25 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:47,548 Anyway, while the rest of you are having normal, dogless days, 26 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:51,219 these two selfless heroes will be in puppy heaven. 27 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,187 - I want to be in puppy heaven. 28 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,322 - I'll switch if anybody wants. 29 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,456 I don't really care about dogs. 30 00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,291 - [gasps] - What? 31 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,293 - What did he say? - I mean, I don't dislike them. 32 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,262 I just, you know, I don't really have strong feelings 33 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,464 one way or the other. - You're a psychopath. 34 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,299 - Sociopath, he's a sociopath. 35 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:06,867 - Is it because they don't like you? 36 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,105 - No, no I think it says something about our priorities 37 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,307 that we spend so much money on pets 38 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,509 when there are literally millions of children 39 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,246 without adequate nutrition. 40 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,247 - I hope you die. 41 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,183 - Okay, I need another volunteer. 42 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,351 - Me me me me me me me me! 43 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,353 - Sandra, thank you. 44 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:26,254 Come on up. 45 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,889 And I am glad that you're an animal lover 46 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,659 because we have a large number of hornets nests 47 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,361 around the perimeter of the store. 48 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:37,331 That's right, it's not always good to volunteer. 49 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,567 That was another lesson. 50 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,570 [upbeat music] 51 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,472 * 52 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,640 - No, look, I want the sour cream and onion chips. 53 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,210 - I can't eat the ones with the ridges on them 54 00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,611 because they hurt the top of my mouth! 55 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,513 - That's part of the experience, Cheyenne. 56 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,383 - I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore. 57 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,285 - Hey hey, what is happening? 58 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,420 - I don't even know who Bo is anymore. 59 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,421 - Okay, all right. - Are you kidding me? 60 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,223 You know that's because I never get what I want. 61 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,558 All I ever do now is babysit for free! 62 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:08,496 - It's not babysitting when you're the dad! 63 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:09,697 - Whoa! - Hey, guys, chill. 64 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,232 - No, come on. 65 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,368 This doesn't have to wind up on YouTube. 66 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,404 Film one of my impressions instead. 67 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,605 - Okay, you want to start something now? 68 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,673 - Yeah! - "Hi, I'm Batman." 69 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,941 That was Batman. 70 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,245 "And now I'm the Joker." 71 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,646 - Somebody has to clean all of this up. 72 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:31,519 - "You merely adopted the dark, I was born in it." 73 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,922 - Damn, tight Bane! Respect. 74 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,357 - [as Bane] Thank you. 75 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,360 [pop music] 76 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:43,264 * 77 00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,433 [puppies whining] 78 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,668 - [clears throat] 79 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,438 I know we've always had this unspoken rivalry. 80 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,406 - Not a rivalry, you're just always mean to me. 81 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,244 And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time? 82 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,412 - Well, anyway, since we're stuck together, 83 00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,780 I figured we could at least be civil. 84 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,383 - Okay, somebody needs to be in charge of the-- 85 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,517 - I'll do it. I'll do it better. 86 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,952 This guy doesn't even like dogs so. 87 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,420 - See, you're even trying to embarrass me 88 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,521 in front of the dog lady. 89 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,758 - "Dog lady?" Jonah, she has a name. 90 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,496 - Lydia. - Lydia. 91 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,265 Really, Lydia? 92 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,466 - Yeah. - Ouch. 93 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,569 - Attention shoppers, are you thinking of having a baby, 94 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,536 but want to test the waters 95 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,638 with something that's not the same at all? 96 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,407 Adopt a dog today. 97 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,509 - Hey, you forgot to clock in this morning. 98 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,512 - Oh, yeah, I came in behind Elias and got distracted. 99 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,980 What's going on with his butt? 100 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,282 - Make sure to clock in at some point 101 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,383 so we can start paying you. 102 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,650 - Oh, hold up. Wait. 103 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,286 I haven't been paid for the last two hours? 104 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,388 Can't you just adjust the timesheet? 105 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,989 - Can. Won't. 106 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,457 Rules are rules. 107 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,592 - Are you being serious? 108 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,260 - Yeah, I'm being serious, 109 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:49,330 and "what's up" with Elias's butt is he started cycling. 110 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,565 Obviously. 111 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,534 - Sh... 112 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,570 - I feel like all we ever do now is fight. 113 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,472 We used to have so much fun. 114 00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,640 We would talk about everything. 115 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,843 Movies, music, politics... 116 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,646 - Politics, really? - Mm-hmm. 117 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,349 - But now, I mean, we're supposed to get married 118 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:12,386 in a few months, and I'm starting to think 119 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,388 maybe we should move that up. 120 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:17,325 - Wait, what? - Oh good, a wedding! 121 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,759 - Because then we'll be newlyweds 122 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,860 and we won't fight anymore. 123 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,362 - Fine by me. 124 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,296 Just get it over with. 125 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,632 Not on Tuesday, though. I got my DJ class. 126 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,833 - I can call my church and see 127 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,535 if they have an opening next week. 128 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,638 Oh, and I get points in the gift shop for referrals. 129 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,842 - No, Glenn, wait-- - Customer service, thank you. 130 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,646 - Guys, getting married is not gonna solve all these problems. 131 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,548 Yes, there is a honeymoon period-- 132 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,517 - Honeymoon period. Banging everywhere. 133 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,552 Mmm. Mmm. 134 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,322 - Yeah, and all that banging builds a foundation 135 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:51,692 of love and trust that lasts forever. 136 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,794 - No, marriage is hard. 137 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,529 It's a big deal. 138 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,398 It's gonna be one of the hardest things you ever do. 139 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,667 It's not something you just want to rush into. 140 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,101 - Okay, hang on. 141 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,771 Do you guys want a black choir or a white choir? 142 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,806 - Black choir. - Definitely black choir. 143 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,875 - I mean, I'm not really on board with this whole-- 144 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,810 Yes, a black choir, of course. 145 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,446 - We'll take Lucius and the Gang, thank you. 146 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,682 - All right, I think you guys are all set. 147 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,351 So I'll be back at 6:00 to close down 148 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,420 and take the dogs that don't get adopted back to the shelter. 149 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,788 - Oh, these guys aren't going back. 150 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,022 I'm gonna get them all adopted. 151 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,859 You might as well find new dogs at the junkyard or wherever. 152 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,696 - Honestly, most of them probably won't get adopted. 153 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,564 But even one life saved makes it all worth it. 154 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,466 - Wait, "one life saved"? 155 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,701 - Yeah, we're an open admissions shelter, 156 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,537 meaning we do have to euthanize based on duration of stay. 157 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,739 So unfortunately, most of these guys, they're out of time. 158 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,141 - Oh, my God. - That's terrible. 159 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,544 - Oh--oh, God no, that's not what I meant. 160 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,512 No, no, no. 161 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,747 - Oh, okay. - You won't have to kill them. 162 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,816 We have a service that comes in. 163 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,584 I'm dating the injection guy. 164 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,619 Yeah, he's great. 165 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:55,456 He's divorced. Most of them are at my age, so. 166 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,857 Yeah. Do you sell stamps? 167 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,759 - At the register. - Yeah, okay. 168 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,928 I'm gonna just--excuse me. 169 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,698 Oh, and dryer sheets, actually? 170 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,968 - Aisle 12. - 12, 12. Thank you. 171 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,369 [puppies yipping] 172 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,076 - I don't know why they bother calling it a shelter. 173 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,780 They should just call it Doggie Death Row. 174 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,181 - I don't know why you're so upset. 175 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,784 I thought you'd be jumping for joy by now. 176 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,786 "Yay! Dead dogs! It's Jonah Christmas!" 177 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,656 - Look, we only have until 6:00 p.m. 178 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:29,890 to get all of these dogs homes. 179 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,426 And the only way that we're gonna do that is by working to-- 180 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,094 - We've got to work together. 181 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,763 We got to work together if we're gonna do this. 182 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,165 You up for that? - Yes, it's a great idea. 183 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,867 - Great, we'll do my plan. 184 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,706 - Just step over the-- - Okay. 185 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,142 - Do you ever regret getting married so young? 186 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:52,780 - Um, no. 187 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,783 I mean, I wouldn't say regret, 188 00:06:55,816 --> 00:07:01,655 but I did miss out on some experiences and stuff. 189 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,223 - Yeah, like threesomes. 190 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,827 - No, I didn't mean-- - Like sex with Italian guys? 191 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,696 - More like Nordic. 192 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:13,467 But I didn't mean sex, I meant life and dating 193 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,769 and, you know, stuff like that. 194 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,237 - Yeah. 195 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,573 Like, how do I know that Bo's the one? 196 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:22,510 I mean, my friends all thought I was crazy 197 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,512 to go out with Bo when Cole liked me. 198 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,646 - Who's Cole? 199 00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,647 - This guy at my school. 200 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,582 He's like the anti-Bo. 201 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:32,553 He's like always reading, mature, really sweet. 202 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,622 - So why did you pick Bo? 203 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,790 - Cause Bo's wild. 204 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,793 He used to smash bang-snaps on his forehead. 205 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,629 Cole would never do that. 206 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:45,699 He was too busy tutoring or, you know, doing debate team. 207 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,900 - Wow. 208 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,903 This Cole guy sounds kind of great. 209 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:54,508 I mean, it's nice to kind of explore your options. 210 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,778 Even though it's probably too late now, right? 211 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,513 - Right. 212 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,748 - Right. 213 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:01,915 - Right. 214 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,184 - Right. 215 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,887 - What are we doing? 216 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,889 - Look, Cheyenne, 217 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,559 I just want you to do what's gonna make you happy. 218 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:15,563 You know, whether that's being with a sweet, responsible guy 219 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,898 who likes books and helping people, 220 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,301 or whether that's Bo who's a wannabe rapper, 221 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,971 who's saving up for a gold tooth. 222 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,574 I trust you to make the right decision. 223 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,908 - Thanks, Amy. 224 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,577 - You're welcome. 225 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,546 - You're so old and wise. 226 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,814 - Okay. 227 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,220 - 44, 43, 42... 228 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,221 - What are you doing? 229 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,724 - "Employees may take no longer than 15 minutes 230 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:44,592 for their lunch break." 231 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,794 I've been timing you since you walked in. 232 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,796 You got 40 seconds left. 233 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,664 - Come on, I needed to re-tighten my ponytail. 234 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,999 I can't go out there looking like a slut. 235 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,034 - Rules are rules, that's what you said. 236 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,704 Unless you want to go back on that? 237 00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:01,775 35, 34, 33... 238 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,976 32... 239 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,813 - Oh, it's so hot. It's burning my mouth. 240 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,681 - Less talking, more swallowing. 241 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,216 - God, my mouth skin. 242 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,018 - Hey, Bo. 243 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,920 Now I don't want to sway you, 244 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,756 but my church is offering a nuptials package. 245 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,960 It includes a future baptism at half-price, no blackout dates. 246 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,294 - Yeah, I don't know. 247 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,730 Maybe jumping into this is, like, a mistake. 248 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,997 - Oh. - It's not like getting married 249 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,733 is gonna suddenly fix everything. 250 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,735 We're still gonna be fighting all the time, 251 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,838 all cramped up in Cheyenne's mom's basement with the baby. 252 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,875 - Well, you know, maybe that's the problem. 253 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,744 You're all cooped up. 254 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,779 You're like one of those chickens in the tiny cages 255 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,714 that can't turn around. 256 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,383 It makes them crazy, and then they taste different. 257 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,252 - The [bleep] you talking about? 258 00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,856 - Look, a married couple needs their own place. 259 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:52,726 My friend Kathy from church, she's a real estate lady. 260 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,996 No, wait, Glenn, darn it. It's 2016. 261 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,965 She's a real estate man. 262 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,333 - I'm so sorry to hear that your husband passed. 263 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,302 What was his name? 264 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,871 - Jeremy. - Jeremy. 265 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,839 And how long ago did he leave us? 266 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,007 - Two years ago. 267 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,976 - Oh, bless his soul. 268 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:09,877 Tell me more about him. 269 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,880 - He loved camping, and the outdoors and-- 270 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,081 - Hey! 271 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,850 - Hold on, Mateo, she's in the middle of a lovely story. 272 00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,319 - No, I found Jeremy in the camping section again. 273 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,288 - This dog's name is Jeremy? 274 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,423 - Yep, little 2-year-old Jeremy. 275 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,692 - That's so crazy. 276 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,761 You and I-- You don't think... 277 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,429 - Jeremy? 278 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,766 Are you in there? - [barks] 279 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,703 - The carpets were all replaced last year. 280 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,938 And there's a washer/dryer right behind the kitchen. 281 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,940 - Oh, wow. 282 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,174 Oh, yeah. 283 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,777 - You know, I was hoping for one of those double staircases 284 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,845 that meet at the top. 285 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,980 You got any houses with double staircases, Kathy? 286 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,082 Kind of like a built-in fish tank, 287 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,751 big enough for, like, a little shark? 288 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,820 Yeah. - Okay. 289 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,756 But wait, look at this kitchen. 290 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,457 So while you're cooking you could just 291 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,795 put on some Motown and groove on, baby. 292 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:02,963 - Yeah, you know what. 293 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,397 Actually, I'm seeing a lot of 294 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,598 pretty good bang spaces around here. 295 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:09,469 Got this countertop, this nice little window zone here, 296 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,872 and what's up, these floors are like made for it, right? 297 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:15,976 - Yeah, but it's also great for a family. 298 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,779 What do you think? 299 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,782 - Throw in that dope brooch, you've got a deal. 300 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,783 - No. 301 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,886 - Psych, I don't want your ugly-ass brooch. 302 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,087 I'll take the place. 303 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,989 - Wonderful. Great. 304 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,457 - Yes, I'm thrilled. 305 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,861 Glenn, I assume you're cosigning. 306 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:34,962 - Cosigning? 307 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,464 Wait, like I'd be responsible for-- 308 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,967 - Yes, in case he can't pay or there's damage. 309 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,036 [drawer slamming] 310 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,408 - I texted Cole. 311 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,010 - Wow, really? - Yeah. 312 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,511 And he came over right away. 313 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,213 He's right over there. 314 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,883 - Oh, wow, he's cute. 315 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,951 - I know, right? 316 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:58,986 Do you want to meet him? 317 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,487 - Sure. 318 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,990 - Hey, Cole! 319 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,158 Come over here! 320 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,795 Okay, just be cool. 321 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,265 - So, Cole. 322 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:15,936 Cheyenne says she knows you from school? 323 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,304 - Sophomore English. 324 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:21,441 - Oh, okay, but, so... 325 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,443 You were her teacher. - I was her teacher. 326 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,479 Uh-huh, yeah. - That's, uh, so-- 327 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,281 - Don't worry, nothing happened back then. 328 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,951 I read the laws very carefully. 329 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,385 - Oh, good. 330 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,155 - He's so romantic. 331 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,357 - I don't want to make a big deal out of it, 332 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,927 but these dogs are actually celebrity dogs. 333 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,264 Oh, this one over here, he was in a movie with George Clooney. 334 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,933 - Oh, cool. 335 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,168 - And this one is friends with John Leguizamo. 336 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,239 - I think I'll take the Clooney one. 337 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,406 - That's an excellent choice. 338 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,176 - Not a Leguizamo fan? 339 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,446 - [exhales] 340 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,981 - Move, I gotta pour one out. 341 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,383 - [groans] "Employees are allotted 342 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,418 one bathroom break per shift." 343 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,987 You took one a little earlier. 344 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,321 I know 'cause I wrote it down. 345 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,157 - That was a false alarm. I barely went. 346 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,524 We're talking less than a half an ounce. 347 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,294 - What was it they said about rules? 348 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,197 That's right, Rules are rules. 349 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,498 - You think this bothers me? 350 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,133 I do a thousand Kegels a day. 351 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,036 I could break a walnut down there. 352 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,305 - Okay, I have the papers 353 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,341 all ready for both of you to sign. 354 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,979 Just as soon as Ricky texts me your Social Security number. 355 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,014 - Hey, my boy Ricky's got all my numbers. 356 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:37,450 - Okay, you know what, homies, I've been thinking. 357 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,452 - Nerd. [laughs] 358 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,354 - I'm not sure I still love this. 359 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,457 I mean this kitchen, isn't it too open? 360 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,527 I mean, you can be attacked from any direction here. 361 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,929 [phone chimes] 362 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,430 - Oh. 363 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:51,999 That is Ricky with your Social. 364 00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,301 - Yeah, boy, let's do this. 365 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,437 [phone chimes] - And that is Ricky's penis. 366 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,973 - Naw, that's Jared's. Ricky wishes. 367 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,341 [laughs] 368 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,043 - * Free your mind 369 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,378 * And the rest will follow 370 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,580 * Be color blind 371 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,351 - Go ahead, pick out anything you want under $10. 372 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,585 - Oh, that's okay. 373 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,255 Besides all the jewelry here gives me a rash. 374 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,323 - So sorry to interrupt. 375 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,959 Cheyenne, can I speak to you for a moment alone? 376 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,360 - Sure, I'll miss you. 377 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,561 - Thanks. 378 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,299 Cheyenne? - Mm-hmm? 379 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,600 - You cannot go out with that guy. 380 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,002 - Why? 381 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,503 - Because he's a middle-aged man. 382 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,105 And because he was your teacher. 383 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,373 Do you really need another reason? 384 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:38,511 - Cole says we are all teachers and journeymen and thieves. 385 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,247 Isn't that beautiful? 386 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,514 - No, it's terrible. 387 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,516 And what about Bo? 388 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,384 - Really? 389 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,119 I always thought that you didn't like Bo. 390 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,155 - I'm probably just a little intimidated 391 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:52,192 by his talent, and his looks, and, you know, his face. 392 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,194 He's the whole package. 393 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,496 - Oh, that's really nice of you to say. 394 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,398 I don't know why he doesn't like you. 395 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,233 - I'm sorry, what? 396 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,634 Bo doesn't like me? 397 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,104 - Yeah, he says you're a poser. 398 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,272 - Okay. 399 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,240 Whatever. That's beside the point. 400 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:11,111 The point is if I had to pick between Bo and Cole, 401 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,179 I would pick Bo. 402 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,247 If those were my only two options. 403 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,649 - Okay, I'll think about it. 404 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,451 - He really called me a poser? 405 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,353 - Yeah, a big one. 406 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,557 - Bo's the poser. 407 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,227 - Oh, God. 408 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,129 Oh, God. 409 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,565 Oh, God, oh, God. You're fine. You're fine. 410 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,201 You're fine, you're fine. You can hold it forever. 411 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,169 It's like a steel trap. [hornets buzzing] 412 00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:39,239 [exhales sharply] 413 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,142 - I gotta say, we made a pretty good team. 414 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,211 And I usually hate being in teams. 415 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,278 I can get pretty competitive. 416 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:50,083 - You know what, I actually used to be the same way. 417 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,485 It's why I burnt out of business school. 418 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,087 - I thought you flunked out. 419 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,457 - Well, I flunked out because I burnt out. 420 00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,226 - Sounds like you're making excuses. 421 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,460 - Well, you weren't there so. 422 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,463 Anyway, the point is I got super stressed 423 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,198 about being the best in my class, 424 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,536 and I ended up in the hospital with dehydration for two days. 425 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,404 - Wow. - Yeah. 426 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:15,442 - I once got dehydration so bad I was hospitalized for a month. 427 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,510 They said it was like the worst case they'd ever seen. 428 00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,547 - Oh, my God. Really? 429 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,650 - No, I was just trying to beat your story. 430 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,353 Sorry, I'm competitive. 431 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,654 - Yeah, well. 432 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,622 We all got our stuff. 433 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,358 - I got more stuff than you, though. 434 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,693 - Okay. 435 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,695 - I want to talk last. 436 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,566 - Bo "The Truth" Thompson. 437 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,568 Ya boy, who's got-- - Okay, all right. 438 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:45,738 That's plenty. Now, Glenn. 439 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,507 - Oh. Thank you. 440 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,315 - Yo, it's G-L-E-M. 441 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,250 - Okay, I know how to spell my own name, 442 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,686 and it's Glenn, not Glem. 443 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,121 - Glenn? 444 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,655 What the hell kind of name is Glenn? 445 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,124 - I can't sign this. 446 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,259 I'm sorry. - What? 447 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,595 - Take the job in St. Louis, Kathy. 448 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,763 You won't miss New York at all. 449 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,366 Christ. - Katherine. 450 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,702 - Okay, this was your idea, yo. 451 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,572 - If it was just my money I wouldn't care, I swear. 452 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,309 But I have a family, Bo. 453 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,277 I'm sorry. 454 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,681 - You know, I get it. 455 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,483 Maybe someday, right? 456 00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,419 Get a place just like this. 457 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:36,356 Mark the baby's tallness on the door frame, just watch her grow. 458 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,459 Sit around here and have dinners together, 459 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,194 watching the news, 460 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,563 roasting chestnuts on an open fire. 461 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,464 - Mm-hmm. 462 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,367 - Folks all dressed up like "Exkimos." 463 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,736 - Cripes, Kathy, fine, you've got a sale. 464 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,572 - What? - Oh, hooray a rental. 465 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,441 I just made $12. 466 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,443 - Why you got to be a [bleep] Kathy? 467 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,115 - I'm just not sure we're meant to be together. 468 00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,350 - I totally understand, 469 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,252 but I am sure 470 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,753 and I'm the adult here, 471 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:10,657 so why don't we go and talk about it in my car? 472 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,891 - Oh, hell, no. 473 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,793 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Eastwick? 474 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:17,230 - Mr. Thompson, uh, nice to s--see you. 475 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,165 - You flunked me out of English class, 476 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,699 and now you're flirting with my girl, son? 477 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,401 - Bo, nothing is going on. 478 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,535 - Let's just talk this through. 479 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,371 - Talk it through like one of the "Voices of Fiction"? 480 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,739 We're not there right now. We're in my house, boy. 481 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,441 - Okay. - How do you like that, huh? 482 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,809 - I don't like it. - What're you talking about? 483 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,678 Read this book. [Cheyenne shrieks] 484 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,880 You little bitch. 485 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,415 - Don't hurt Bo. 486 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,725 [both grunting] - Oh, my God, the shampoo! 487 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,926 Yeah, hit him! 488 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,928 - Oh, God, this is pathetic. 489 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,830 - Come on guys, no. 490 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,432 Break it up. 491 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,167 - Whoa, someone's touching my junk. 492 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,235 - No! 493 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,836 - He's so romantic. 494 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,238 - No. Come on, put away your camera. 495 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,240 There's nothing interesting here. 496 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,275 - Now Brett's got to clean this up. 497 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,711 Come on, guys. Be considerate. 498 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,414 - There's nothing interesting here. 499 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,749 [indistinct shouting] 500 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,819 The comments are so mean. 501 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:17,290 Do I look like "a gigantic, red baby"? 502 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,758 - No. 503 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,194 - Oh, what's the hurry? 504 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,362 - Bathroom. I'm off the clock. 505 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,365 - Oh, you know what, restrooms are for customers only, 506 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,534 and it doesn't appear that you've purchased anything. 507 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,441 Oh, a stapler? - Yeah, I could use this. 508 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,409 - Sure you can. We could all use a stapler. 509 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,844 - You're gonna pay for this tomorrow. 510 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,347 - I don't work tomorrow. - Then the next day. 511 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,981 - Not until Sunday. - Sunday then. 512 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,252 Sunday you will pay for-- oh wait, I'm not in Sunday. 513 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,052 Damn it. 514 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,288 - This is so worth the two hours. 515 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,856 - I hate you so much. 516 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:53,326 - Guys, thank you both so much for everything. 517 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,528 - So is everything okay with Bo? 518 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,231 - Yeah, we're not gonna get married this weekend, 519 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,533 but we're gonna be okay. 520 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,469 - Yo, Chey, where the dog treats at, yo? 521 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,439 - You adopted many dogs. 522 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,807 - Oh yeah, I got it all figured out. 523 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,342 The dogs take care of the baby, 524 00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,478 and the baby grows up and takes care of the dogs. 525 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,246 Whomp. Whomp. [laughs] 526 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,482 - Circle of life. - She gets it. 527 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,417 - See, I'm not a poser. 528 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,819 - Lets get them to their new home. 529 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,921 - This is Ding-Dong. That's Weed. 530 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,891 This is Richard, and that's Snapdragon. 531 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,893 - There goes my security deposit. 532 00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:27,960 - Oh, yeah. 533 00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:31,364 - Wow, you guys really got all the dogs adopted. 534 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,966 - Yup. - That's great. 535 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,370 I guess I'll just wait till next week to see the injection guy. 536 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,005 You know what, I'm an adult. 537 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,808 I'm gonna call him on the-- I'm gonna text him. 538 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,377 - Sounds good. - Cool. 539 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,612 - I'm gonna do it now. 540 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,382 - [clears throat] 541 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,584 Well, nice working with you. 542 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,520 - It was nice working with you too. 543 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,055 Hey, you know, I was thinking of seeing a movie tonight 544 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,056 if you want-- 545 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,458 - I'm seeing two movies. 546 00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,959 - Okay. 547 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:04,631 - Oh, the dogs are all gone? 548 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,899 - Girl. - Uh-huh. 549 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,369 - Were they cuddly? 550 00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,405 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 551 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,541 - Yeah.